Previous Part : Ghar ki Gaand - 1
Kahani dheere dheere garam hogi, isliye sare readers se nivedan hai ki thoda sabar rakhe. Sabar ka fal mitha hota hai. Mai yakeen ke sath keh sakta hu ki ye kahani bahut mazedaar hai aur aapko isko pura padhne me bahut maza aane wala hai. Mai aapke manoranjan ka dhyan rakhne ki koshish karunga.
Ravi ko to maine “Garam Aurat” de di. Par pehli kitab ke “Rangeen Jawani” liye rohit aur raj dono ladne lage. Kitabo ke naam kalpanik nahi hai, ye wahi naam hai jo maine sach much me pehli baar padhi thi. Socha inke naam ka jikr to banta hai.
Rohit-“Hum ye wala kitab le jayenge aaj.”
Raj-“Tab humko kya milega, mere ko bhi chahiye.”
Me-“Abe gandu log, sala kitab do aur 3 log ko le jana hai! Ya to aadha aadha le jao, ya koi aur intezam karna hoga. Ladki to hai nahi ki dono taraf se baja sakte ho.”
Rohit-“Abe aadha aadha le jayenge to KLPD (Khade Lund par dhokha ho jayega), jisko 1st half mila, uska khada hi reh jayega aur jisko last wala mila usko intro hi pata nahi chalega. Fir chudai to padhega, par pata nahi chalega ki chud kaun rahi hai, maa hai ki behan hai ki bhabhi. Aise jhant maza aayega. So, tum humko kuch dusra de do. Isko ye le jane do”.
Me-“haa be, mai hi to mastram hu na, likh likh ke chhap rahe hai tum log ke liye. Lauda sabko naya naya chahiye aur nahi hai mere pas.”
Raj-“Abe landu ke pas hoga, uske pas bhi rehta hai stock me. Bula na usko!”
Ravi-“haa be haa be!, chal na usko bulane chalte hai, isi bahane uski behan ko bhi taad lenge”
Bipin urf “Landu” bhi mere “acchewale” dosto me se ek tha. Uski didi Pooja, jo ek number ki kadak maal thi. Doodh ki tarah gori thi wo. Figure karib 32-28-34 hogi. Wo landu se ek saal hi badi thi. Isliye hum log use khul kar baatein kar pate the, lekin thi wo ek number ki HITLER. Landu ko na bahar jane deti thi na chain se rehne deti thi.
Landu bhi Pooja se pura pareshan rehta tha. Lekin uski khubsoorti ka nazara hi kuch aisa hota tha ki sabke tambu ban jate the.
Ravi-“Are yaar, sach batao ye mastram ki saari kitabo me hero ka lund kabhi sikudta kyu nahi hai. Hamesa khada hi kyu rehta hai. Girne ke baad fir khada ho jata hai. Ab iss Paltu wali kahani ko hi le lo. Mano lund na hua nal ho gaya. Jab chalao pani hi pani hihihi.”
Hum log sabhi ek sath Landu ke ghar ki aur baatein karte hue chal pade. Baatein, Hasi- majak jari tha. Bipin ke ghar ke niche uski maa khadi mili.
Ravi ne pucha – “Aunty, LLan.... Bipin kahan hai??”
Aunty-“Abhi to yahin tha, uper dekho shayad WWE dekh rha hoga.”
Main aur ravi sidhi se dabe paav upar chal diye. Baki sare dost niche hi mandali bana kar baith gaye. Ghar ka darwaja khula tha, mai knock karne hi wala tha ki ravi ne mera hath rok liya.
Ravi-“ruk be, dekhte hai, kya kar raha hai wo?, Agar wo na bhi raha to shayad Pooja maal dikh jaye. Aur possibly agar wo jhadu laga rahi ho to doodhiya chuchi ke darshan bhi ho jaye”. Main ruk gaya.
Dhire se darwaja khola aur andar ghusa. Piche piche ravi bhi ghar me ghus gaya. Humne dekha TV high volume par start tha. Par wahan koi nahi tha. Ravi slowly baramade me chala gaya aur dekha ki Landu bathroom ke darwaje se andar jhank raha hai.
Dabe paav wo bahar aa gaya, usne mujhse kaha –“Are yar, ye landu to bathroom ke andar jhank raha hai, sayad pooja andar hogi, aur landu maza le raha hai.” Ravi dhire se andar gaya aur piche se bipin ko pakad liya. Bipin hadbada kar chaunk gaya.
Shayad wo pooja ki bur dekh kar usme kho gaya tha, use pata hi nahi chala ki hum kab wahan pahuche. Bipin ne jhat se ravi ke muh par hath rakha aur use utha kar TV wale room me le aaya aur bola –“Abe tum dono yahan kaise? Aur sala bina aawaz diye andar ghus gaye.”
Ravi-“Awaz de ke aate to tumhein pakdte nahi na beta. Pura maza le rahe ho bhabhi ka.”
Ravi shayad ye soch raha tha ki Bipin uski bhabhi ko dekh raha tha. Lekin mujhe pata tha ki bipin ki bhabhi to apne mayke gayi hui hai. Main samjh gaya ki bathroom me pooja hi hai. Ravi majak karte hue bola, achha beta bhaiya nahi hai to tum hi saiyan ban rahe ho. Bipin jaldi se jaldi humein ghar se bahar nikalna chahta tha, taki humein ye pata na chale ki bathroom me kaun tha. Humein dhakke dete hue usne ghar se bahar nikala aur bola –“Chal be bhosdi ke niche ruk, main aata hoon 2 min me”..
Ravi-“Abe, ek baar mujhe bhi dekhne do na, teri bhabhi to mast maal hai. Ek baar dekhne de na, kitne din ho gaye, bf bhi nahi dekha hai. Aur tum sala original maal dekhta hai. Dikha na be, bas ek jhalak. Kabhi original bur nahi dekhe hai be dikha de bhai ek baar.”
Bipin-“Oye pagal ho gaya hai kya, sala ab bhabhi bahar aane wali hi hogi. Chal jaldi niche.”
Ravi aur main jaldi se niche aa gaye aur Landu ka wait karne lage. Maine dhire se rohit se kaha-“Abe kuch bhi ho jaye, ravi ko upar mat jane dena, landu beta kabhi niche aayega nahi, bhayanak busy hai chhora, ye kar ki tu ravi ko busy kar de bipin ki maa ke sath.
Main ek round upar se aata hoon!!!”
Rohit samjh gaya ki jarur daal me kuch kala hai. Main dhire se upar gaya, dekha landu abhi bhi pooja ke boor dekh raha tha, maine kaha abe ab to dekhne de, main akela hoon.
Bipin ne mujhe pakda aur kaha “abe tu fir aa agya, control nahi ho raha tha yar, ab bina hilaye niche nahi aa sakta, bhabhi bhi bathroom me hai. kya karun? Tu ja yar, main aata hu jaldi niche.”
Me-“Abe mujhe bhi darshan kara de yaar. Kabhi original wala pas se nahi dekha bhai.”
Bipin-“Abe kisi aur din, abhi ravi ko shak ho jayega, chal niche main aata hoon”.
Bipin baat ko talna chahta tha, main kisi bhi tarah razi karna chahta tha, kyuki mujhe pata tha ki andar bhabhi nahi pooja hai. Bipin ne socha ki agar ye andar dekhe bhi to isko sirf niche ka portion dikhega aur ye samjh bhi nahi payega ki kaun hai. Lekin wo ye bhul gaya ki usne hi mujhe bataya tha ki bhabhi mayke gayi hui hai.
Bipin-“Dekh le beta, lekin bas 10 second, us se jyada nahi,” main bathroom ke andar jhakne ke liye hole se aankh lagaya, pooja ki bur najar ke samne thi, bhoori bhoori jhante, 1 inch ke karib hogi, chikni gori gori janghe dikhi, mera lund khada ho gaya tha, pehli baar koi bur aankh ke samne thi, bur ke phanko se paani tapak raha tha, nabhi ke upar kuch dikh nahi raha tha, main uski saundarya me kho sa gaya, aise pratit ho raha tha jaise duniya ki sabse pyari scenary mere aankho ke samne ho, Tabhi pooja niche jhuki, sayad soap uske hath se fisal kar niche gir gaya tha, wo soap uthane ke liye niche jhuki hi thi ki uske choochhiyan mere aankho ke samne aa gayi, achanak pooja ne hole ki taraf dekha. Main dar gaya ki kahi usne dekh to nahi liya. Main jhat se utha aur pichhe bhaga. Bipin bhi samajh gaya aur baramade se nikal gaya, Dhire se Pooja ne bathroom ka darwaja khola, par wahan koi nahi tha, par sayad use ye shak ho gaya tha ki koi hole se jhak raha tha. Maine socha ki agar wo aise sochti bhi hai to usko kaise pata chalega ki main aaya hoon. Uska shak to pura ka pura bipin par hi jayega.
Bipin ne jaldi se shirt pehna, aur hum bhagte hue niche aa gaye.
Me-“Beta bach gaye, kahin dekh leti na to aaj hum dono ki chatni bana deti”
Landu-“Bole the beta, mat karo, fasa diye na, aur bipin gussa ho gaya.”
Me-“Abe shant ho jao, ravi ko shak ho gaya to sabko bata dega, aise bhi tum bathroom me jhank rahe the, ye baat to wo sabko bol ke hi rahega, lekin use laga hai ki teri bhabhi andar thi, so koi baat nahi hai. Tum bhi aisa pretend karna ki bhabhi hi thi.”
Bipin-“Pretend kya karna, bhabhi ko to dekh hi sakte hai na be.”
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